The Alchemical Type
by MediaJumper
Summary: Ed and Al go on a mission to a strange country where a rogue alchemist has fled. But will they be able to catch him without putting innocent lives in danger, especially the lives of their new friends? Rated T for a few cusses. Slight AU.
1. A New Mission

Quick disclaimer. I don't own anything. Sadly. Except a few swords, so even if I didn't disclaim, nobody's gonna take me! **Mwahahahaha!** Anyway... Onwards!

**Edit:** fixed that Fuhrer King. (Thanks, reviewer74!)

* * *

Führer Mustang sat at his desk, breathing out a heavy sigh at the stacks of paperwork in front of him. He prayed to some God (he probably didn't believe in) that something, _anything,_ would redirect his attention.

It came by a shorter-than-average kid barged in and started pacing across his office. "I'll show him," he grumbled. "Wait and see, too young, 'fear is just perception,' who does he think he's kidding?" Roy glanced up at the blonde who had shifted from muttering to cursing.

"Is there a reason you're interrupting me, Fullmetal?" Mustang sighed.

"I'm not afraid of anything!" He shouted in his annoying ranting tone Mustang had gotten to know oh, so well. He'd heard about a million words in that same tone, whenever Roy made a comment about the pipsqueak's height. "What do I have to do to prove that to people?"

"How about taking this mission?" Roy smirked, passing him the file. This was the perfect opportunity. He'd been _meaning_ to assign Ed and his younger brother, Al to the case for the past two weeks, but, now that Ed was 17, Roy was a bit more than afraid he'd get decked if he suggested it.

"This could work. This is good." Ed's malicious smile was more than enough to send shivers down the Flame Alchemist's spine.

"Don't get so excited, Fullmetal. It's a murder investigation, not Christmas," Roy said, trying to play down the chills he'd gotten. "We're fairly certain that it's Bart Chowdhury, the Sun bending Alchemist."

"Wasn't he imprisoned after the Promised Day?" Ed wondered aloud as he took a look at the grotesque photographs.

"He was, but he escaped during a prison transfer." Mustang didn't like how light Ed was acting. When he told Roy he'd take the case with a light-hearted smile, the Führer had to say something. "Be careful, Ed. This isn't some farming incident. Chowdhury isn't called the Sun Bending because he's good at getting drunk. He's a serious threat. He's very skilled in light-manipulation alchemy. You won't be able to do this without Al and every ounce of Alchemy you have in you."

"I get it, Führer Bastard," Ed smirked, grabbing the two train tickets out of Mustang's hand and marched out the door. No one could _ever_ think Ed was a cowered after he and Al completed this mission. He continued walking as he thought about this and slammed straight into Riza.

"Oh, Edward," she noted. "Did Roy give you that assignment like he was supposed to?" Ed nodded. "Good."

"Sorry I ran into you, Lieutenant," Ed smiled. "The baby's okay, right?" He asked, nodding to her stomach.

"He's fine, Edward. You and Alphonse are so worried about him. You're more worried about him than his father!" She laughed. Ed, despite how much animosity he bore for the father, was still made the godfather and, by association, Al became the god-uncle. Ed knew how much Roy had wanted to make Hughes the godfather of his first child, just like he wanted Hughes to be the best man. But Hughes was dead and the responsibility fell to Ed and Al.

"Very important; no one there really knows about alchemy or automail. Remember how shocking it was to those people in Franca?" Riza mentioned. Ed nodded. He'd fixed a broken glass with alchemy in the capital, Versailles, and he'd been nearly burned at the stake for 'witchcraft.' "Oh, and when you're there, get a communication device called a mobile telephone. They're an amazing technological advance. Everyone there has them. They don't work in Amestris because we don't have the right telephone poles. We don't want you to stick out too much. The military will foot the bill."

Ed nodded. "Thanks, Riza," he said, hugging her. He had to bend a bit to reach around her shoulders past her swollen belly.

Before he'd left Central HQ, he called Al up to tell him they were leaving the country. "Are you sure, brother?" Al questioned. "I didn't get there before Drachma tried to annex Amestris and Führer Mustang needed us. I don't know the country at all."

"It'll be _fine_, Al," Ed assured him. "We'll stop before we get on the ferry and get some info. They speak a different language there, you know. We'll have to learn it to fit in."

"If you're sure, brother," Al finally said, giving up to his brother's confidence, though he wasn't entirely convinced. "Hey, if this guy is as dangerous as Roy says, won't we need Winry to fix your automail?" Ed sighed. He'd finally gotten his arm back, only to have it chopped off during the Drachman War. He'd had to go through rehabilitation all over again. It took less time with Al's girlfriend helping the healing process, but it was still slow.

"We'll call her if we need anything," he said, knowing full well the unknown technological advances Riza had been talking about like the mobile telephone would be enough to make Winry never want to leave. He liked her where she was; somewhere he could always run to for safety and for longing.

"The train leaves tomorrow at 10:25. That bastard Führer, when was he going to tell us he we were leaving?" Ed shouted more than asked.


	2. In Japan

**Disclaimer yadayadayada, don't own anything, yadayadayada. Anyway... It's my first published story and I'm not sure how often to update. I'm thinking about once a week so when I get my blocks, I still feel obligated to do stuff with it and you guys still get writing (I have followers (_) squee!). Let me know if you'd like a chapter more often!**

"Welcome to Japan!" One of the crew called to Ed and Al in the foreign language they were still getting used to. He looked a bit like Ling and May. They were definitely in the right place. For the past day and a half, Ed and Al had been helping on the boat, hard manual labor that would have wiped anyone else out. Thankfully, Ed had mechanical limbs helping him out and Al had kept a few of his armored-self's traits.

Surprisingly, it was one of the most relaxing parts of the journey. The entire journey had taken about three weeks. First, a train ride from Amestris to the Aerugonian coast, then a boat to Xing and a very long system of trains and switches, all finishing off with a taxi ride across a deathtrap of a city to the coast for a ferry ride. Having to jump from one moving train to another wasn't exactly in Ed's definition of 'fun,' but this assignment was certainly proving his courage, even before they'd officially started.

"Thank you, Daisuke!" Al called to the ferry captain in Japanese, who shouted back a broken Amestrian thanks. Ed gave him a half-wave-half-salute as he walked away, not turning from his path.

"According to that file, the murderer is targeting rich families, probably for money," Ed said in Amestrian, adding his own commentary to the file's information. "We'll never pass for adults here, so we'll have to fit in with the teens."

"The guidebooks say people don't graduate from high school until 18, not like back in Amestris. We could get into a wealthy person's high school," Al suggested, following his brother's linguistic lead. Ed nodded.

"Where do you think a posh academy type school would be in this town?" He asked, looking around for a clue. There wasn't a street sign in sight. "Excuse me," he said in Japanese, stopping a girl with far too many shopping bags for a normal human to carry. "Do you know where the closest academy for future diplomats and CEOs is?"

"Brother," Al scolded. "Can't you see she's got her arms full?" Even if Al had meant it as figurative, it was all too literal. "Let us help you with those." Ed grumbled something under his breath but quickly shut up and held out his arms for groceries. With the two of them loaded up, they walked with the brunette to her home.

"Actually, I go to an academy like that," she explained as they walked. "It's called Ouran Academy." Ed gave her an unbelieving look. "I'm there on scholarship," she said quickly. Ed nodded, understanding. "Why? Do you want to go to a school full of rich snobs?" she asked, stifling a laugh as she thought about her friends, who were all very rich and, even after she'd gotten to know them, very easy to consider snobs.

Al saved the pair, coming up with a clever lie. "Our foster father does diplomatic assignments regularly for the military and he wants us to learn charm and class while still attending school." She looked intrigued.

"If you want to learn to be charming, you could always join the Host Club," she suggested. A quizzical look on both brothers made her laugh. "How does Tamaki put it?" she wondered aloud before launching into a rant. "_'The Ouran High School Host Club is where filthy rich young men, like ourselves with too much time on their hands, entertain young ladies with also way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran's Playground for the super-rich and beautiful.'_" She nodded, feeling proud of herself for remembering his rant.

"We're not rich, though," Ed said, annoyed. This time, it was the girl's turn to give a quizzical look. "Our foster father is a military man, not a business man," he explained, expounding on Al's lie.

"This is my stop," she said, stopping in front of an apartment complex. "I'm on the second floor. I hope you don't mind taking them up?" Ed and Al nodded, happy for their own reasons. "If you do want to go to Ouran Academy, you'll have to take an entrance exam. You'd better do it soon, though. The deadline for new students is in a few days."

"Thanks, uh," Ed paused. He hadn't asked her name.

"I'm Haruhi Fujioka," she said, giving a slight bow.

"I'm Edward Elric and this is my brother, Alphonse," Ed said, holding out a hand to shake; his left hand. She took it awkwardly as Al was "pleased to meet" her.

As soon as Haruhi was inside of her apartment, Ed barged downstairs and into the apartment manager's office, demanding to rent an apartment. After a long argument over pricing and duration, Ed considered the terms acceptable and took the key, paying upfront.

* * *

The next day, Ed and Al "covertly" followed Haruhi to her school. It was a bit hard keeping up with the public bus until Ed transfigured some makeshift rollerblades out of trashcan lids. It might have been a little less covert than they thought and Haruhi had spotted them at least seven times before she'd gotten to school.

Discarding the wheeled shoes, Ed and Al moved up the steps of the academy. Ed hoped they wouldn't have to search long for the main office. From the size of the pink building, they'd never find it if it wasn't in the immediate area. Thankfully, it was.

"We're here to take the entrance exam," Ed deadpanned. The receptionist/secretary looked up at them, gave them a once-over and pressed a button. She spoke in rapid Japanese and the brothers had trouble keeping up. A voice responded coolly, but still as rapid and difficult to understand. She nodded, as though the voice on the other side of the intercom could see her.

"Here are the papers you have to fill out beforehand," she said, pushing them a stack. Ed and Al exchanged glances, grimacing. It looked like the to-do pile on Mustang's desk right before Riza whipped out her pistol. They sat and filled them out as fast as they could, although it still took over two hours. It would have been shorter if they didn't have to call the aforementioned procrastinator to double-check some info.

Finally, they trudged to the desk and returned the paperwork. The secretary sighed, clearly unhappy they had stuck through it. Ed & Al were instructed to sit and wait until the paperwork could be approved. It was, only after three more excruciating hours. They were then led to a small room with dividers surrounding each of the nine desks. They were instructed to sit as far away from each other as possible and handed a novel's worth of paper. Glancing over it, Ed's disappointing day grew worse. It was pure test questions.

They were told to start and the two brothers spent the next half-hour ticking off answers. Ed passed his in first, but Al was only seconds behind him. The tester was surprised and, when she ran it through the answer-checking machine, both tests were 100% correct.

They were then told to wait. Ed growled. He hated waiting. All he wanted to do was punch something. So he did; he punched Al. The two got into a sparring match there and then. Despite the punches and kicks coming from _both_ sides of his body, Al didn't bleed. He barely bruised.

The time his soul had spent connected to the armor had taken a few traits of its residence with it; one being an armored shell. Ed theorized he was subconsciously creating a shell of air around him every time he performed a transmutation to make up for the change in body hardness. It was as good a theory as any.

As soon as the door started creaking open, the two boys stopped their match and retreated to their own corners as quickly and as quietly as possible. If the man who walked in noticed their newly forming bruises, he certainly didn't mention it.

"You two have set an incredible record today," he smiled. "I am Yuzuru Suoh, the chairman of this school." He smiled at his title. "The previous record for the fastest test was an hour and fifty three minutes. You two both did it under thirty."

Ed shrugged. "Does this mean we're in?" He asked defiantly. Chairman Suoh nodded his head.

"I'd put you in a more advanced class than the years you already know, but I'm afraid that might make you more self-conscious about your height," he chided, laughing at his joke.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT THEY CAN'T EVEN BE SEEN BY UPPERCLASSMEN!" Al hurried to pull Ed back, before those hands that were too small to be seen by upperclassmen were twisting their way around the neck of the chairman. Al tried to explain to Ed that Mr. Suoh _hadn't_ said that, but Ed still brooded under the comment.

"Just as I thought, self-couscous about your height," he chuckled and walked away.


	3. The First Day

**INTERNET CONNECTION! Sorry I'm a few hours late, guys. I lost power. Uploading this is the second thing I've done since getting it back (my plumbing runs on electricity).** **Anyways, same as always, I don't own jack chiz because I'm a poor and lowly regular human being and ****_not_**** the owner of cult phenomena like FMA and OHSHC, religions to which I happily adhere. So, help me hone my writing skills so I can write a book of my own! REVIEW! Thanks!**

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Class A-1 was Al's class. Although he was really 16, he and Ed had both lied about their age to make it easier to "make connections" with richer families. Al got a few odd looks; he, unlike his brother, was unusually tall. Ed thought this was because he'd been growing _for_ Al.

The teacher stood up and introduced him. "Class, this is Alphonse Elric. He'll be joining us this year. Please, Alphonse, tell us a bit about yourself. Where did you live before Tokyo?"

Al cleared his throat. "Hello," he smiled warmly. "I come from a small nation beyond Xing called Amestris. It was really hard to leave my family back home, but I hope I'll make new friends soon." He paused, not sure what else to add. "Oh, my favorite subject is science."

"What's something you've learned about in the Amestrian schools?" The teacher asked, clearly wanting to make sure they were on the same page.

"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost," he stated. The teacher raised an eyebrow. She'd never heard a law like _that_ before.

"What are your interests, Edward? Tell us something about yourself," Ed's teacher instructed. He sighed. He didn't like this. There weren't many people in his class who looked interested, anyway.

"It doesn't matter much," he sighed, impatient to take his seat. Discontented by his answer, the teacher shot him a look. He'd have to give him some answer.

"Water: 35 Liters, carbon: 20 kilograms, ammonia: 4 Liters, lime: 1.5 kilograms, phosphorus: 800 grams, salt: 250 grams, saltpeter: 100 grams, sulfur: 80 grams, fluorine: 7.5 grams, iron: 5 grams, silicon: 3 grams and trace amounts of 15 other elements. That is the exact chemical make-up of a human body." Ed said firmly. All information about the human body's make-up had been burned into his brains. He could tell you the exact strain of protein that hair was made of, the exact amount of calcium that was needed to make up a rib bone. "Since we're all made up of the same things, it doesn't matter much past there."

He sauntered back to his desk, quite pleased with himself. It wasn't until he looked around and saw about eight girls swooning at him. _What?_ He wondered. He wasn't there for eye candy. They should step off his case.

The oddest thing was the looks exchanged by two tall boys, one of them wore glasses and the second wasn't terribly different from Ed. He was taller and had violet eyes instead of gold, but very similar indeed. And the look Ed had noticed sent chills down his spine. He felt like he was going to be used very soon. The dark-haired one wrote something in a notebook.

Ed and Al's first days were completely different from one another. Al paid attention to his lessons, occasionally making quiet comments like "I've never heard it explained _that_ way" or "these teachers are very good at teaching those who don't understand yet."

Ed, however, paid no attention. Once, in mathematics, Ed had been called to answer a problem on the board (f[x] = x2 + 3x + 2, g[x] = 2x4 + 2x3 + 3x2 + x + 1.). He'd solved it with little difficulty (2x4 + 2x3 + 3x2 + x + 1 = [2x2 + x + 1] [x2 + 3x + 2] + x + 4). Again, when he sat, the girls of the class swooned in his direction. The teacher just looked shocked.

"How did you solve that?" He stuttered, looking at the board.

"It's not that hard," Ed shrugged.

"That had nothing to do with the lesson. I just wanted you to pay better attention. How did you solve what a university-level mathematician would have trouble solving? How do you know it? How do you know about the Euclidean division of polynomial rings?" Even more troubling, how had Ed known the answer before he'd written out the problem? He'd written the answer, was walking back to his seat before he'd remembered to show his work.

"Abstract algebra really isn't that hard, is it?" Ed asked, surprised. When the entire class gawked at his statement, he took it a 'yes.' Again, the _spectacled wonder_, as Ed had named him, wrote something in his ledger.

Once class got out, Ed and Al joined up again, meeting in front of a seemingly abandoned classroom. "How was your first day, Brother?" Al asked.

"Boring!" Ed said, giving an exasperated sigh. "That doesn't matter, though. We need to find Chowdhury, and fast. I don't think I can _take_ another one of those math lessons. They think polynomial rings are hard." Al laughed a bit. Such advanced math was something he and Ed had to study long and hard for, though now it came easy. It was something alchemy had forced them to use regularly.

"I will tell you one thing, though," Ed mentioned, moving his right arm stiffly. "I think I pulled something on that boat. I need oil or something."

"I _told_ you to call Winry before we left. She could have at least done maintenance. If you weren't so hard headed–"

Just then, a loud swarm of girls began moving towards them. Ed and Al stepped inside the door and leaned against it hard, desperate to keep the _young ladies_ out of their hair. "Al, that stand. We can make a bar," Ed instructed. Al rushed forward, grabbing the piece of wood out from under a vase. The vase crashed to the ground, shattering.

"If you'd like to keep our guests out, there are better ways than smashing antiques." A voice said. Ed and Al turned in the direction of the voice. There, two members of Ed's class and three of Al's sat with two other boys. The one with glasses wrote down a note and strode over to lock the door.

"You'll have to pay for that," he said, nodding to the broken vase.

"We'll fix it," Ed said, cockily. Al murmured a quiet 'brother!' and turned to hide the broken vase and the transmutation's light. "Like magic!" Ed said, holding it up. It was completely fixed. The seven figures raised their eyebrows in shock.

Al noticed something. "Haruhi, why are _you_ here? And why are you in a boy's uniform?" He asked, his questions genuine.

"I'm paying down a debt. It sure would have been helpful to have you guys around last semester," she sighed. As much as she joked about not wanting to be a part of the Host Club, the members had become her fast friends.

"Care to introduce us to your friends, Haruhi?" The _tall_ blond in the room asked.

"Uh, this is Edward and Alphonse Elric. We met the other day, and they helped me carry my groceries." At the mention of someone _else_ carrying Haruhi's bags, the blond retreated to a corner to sulk. "Guys, this is the Host Club." They stood there in their glory. "That's Takashi Morinozuka and he's friend Mitsukuni Haninozuka," she said, motioning to the boy who probably should have been graduated and the one who was too small to even be in high school. "Those two trouble makers are Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, he's Kyoya Otori and the one growing mushrooms in the corner is Tamaki Suoh."

"Isn't Suoh the guy who runs the school?" Ed asked, slightly glowering in Tamaki's direction. Most of the members stiffened and Haruhi nodded slightly. Trying to change the subject, Haruhi brought up something from the past. "You guys wanted to learn charm and class?"

Instantly, Tamaki jumped up. "We are the foremost authority on class and charm!" He shouted. Ed and Al glanced at each other whilst Tamaki barked out orders. "Kyoya, Hikaru; get them uniforms." What had Haruhi gotten them into?

"Soooooo, what are your skills?" he asked, prancing over. "Normally, I would cast you as a Boy-Lolita type, but Honey's already got that covered." If it wasn't for Al, Tamaki would have been very dead, very fast. "We could paint you as a playboy foreigner," he offered, to which the answer was _no_. He'd had enough of Mustang's flagrant attitude to last him a lifetime. Soon enough, Tamaki's entire list of possible romance-fulfilling personalities had been emptied.

"Mommy!" He cried. "They aren't being cooperative!"

"According to their school records, their foster father is military, so they could fulfill that role." Al laughed at the suggestion. Ed didn't really _follow_ orders. He overthrew governments. "But, if _Edward's_ answers in class today were anything like Alphonse's, they could easily be future scientists." Ed snickered. He was _already_ a scientist.

Ed _finally_ decided to fulfill what Tamaki insisted on calling the too-smart-for-his-own-good-because-he's-mischievous type and Al easily fit into the innocent type. With that decided, Kyoya opened the doors with gracious bows and apologies for keeping them waiting.

The two were forced into seats opposite several girls. Not sure what to do, they sat in silence for a few moments before the girls bombarded the new hosts with questions. The brothers glanced at each other from across the room. What _had_ Haruhi gotten them into?


	4. A Grating Voice

FINALLY! Not what I was going to post today, but I'm going to roll with it. Again, I own nothing but the amazing ideas that I think up (though, even that might be a bit in the gray). Oh! **Easter Egg!** Can you find it? If you can, you're a fantastic, amazing geek like me. If not, I will silently laugh about it by myself. **THANKS, guys!**

* * *

Their first official meeting as hosts went, well…

"It's Edward-San, right?" A girl asked. She wore the typical yellow dress of an Ouran Academy student. In her black hair, she wore a ruffled, floral bow that just happened to be _pink_.

He nodded, swallowing hard. "You can call me Ed, if you'd like." She had requested him and she smiled at him, blushing a little.

"Ed," she repeated it, trying the foreign name out. It sounded wrong in her squeaky voice. "Where are you from, Ed?"

"Amestris." He tried to keep the answers short. Maybe there was a daily quota.

"I've never heard of that country. Where is it?" He sighed. There wasn't. If there was, she'd been done after the first question. How could anyone stand that voice?

"West of Xing, next to the desert." She nodded. She'd clearly heard of Xing.

"Ed, darling, would you mind helping me with this?" She held out her arm. A golden bracelet hung, the broken chain, swinging from side to side. Ed glared a bit. Is that what the Host Club did? Fix jewelry and answer unrelenting questions? He reluctantly reached out and fixed it.

"Don't call me 'darling,'" he said, a bit perturbed. He wasn't anyone's _darling_. He was a state alchemist, who should have been out catching a killer.

She didn't seem to notice as she launched into her sentence. In fact, it kind of seemed like she was ignoring him. "Edward, darling, I just bought the prettiest dress in this boutique in Taiwan. It's just _beautiful_, and you should see." Ed had tuned her out.

At the other table, Edward sat, slightly awkward. If May saw him, he would be dead. The two had gotten awfully close while he was away in Xing. He'd sat across from two girls who seemed to be intently observing him. "Hi," he smiled shyly after having them stare at him for a few minutes. They giggled. "What are your names?"

"I'm Yumi Ishiyama, and this is Kimiko Hitsujikai." Yumi looked like Al had thought all Japanese girls would have. She had squinty, black eyes and chin length black hair. Kimiko was a different story. Her pixie hair was a pastel pink hair and green eyes.

"I'm Alphonse Elric." He smiled. "What do you to like doing?" he asked, unsure about what to ask. He glanced over at Ed, who was less than enthusiastic. In fact, he was practically plugging his ears at the grating voice of the girl who sat across from him.

"Yumi is an artist, and a martial artist." Kimiko offered. "I like to mess around with music."

"Mess around? Kimiko, you're fantastic."

"That's really cool. I've never learned how to play an instrument and I've always wondered how musicians created the chords with such mathematical precision and emotion." Trust an alchemist to turn music to math. "I am, however, a bit more adept at martial arts. My brother and I spar regularly. Perhaps you could join us, Yumi." She nodded, enthusiastic. Most boys just brushed her off when she said she was a good fighter.

Back at Ed's table, he sunk lower in his chair, silently loathing. He hadn't been as able to tune her out as he'd hoped. Her voice grated against his ears. "So I told him, he couldn't do that to me. It's just not fair to only buy me three new dresses when I _needed_ that dress, too. If he didn't buy me that dress, I said, I'd never be happy. Eventually he broke down and bought it for me. I can't wait to wear it. I hope I can get to it, but I have about 30 other dresses I haven't worn yet, so it may be a while."

"SHUT UP!" Ed shouted finally. Tomiko, as she'd introduced herself, exhaled sharply. The entire room turned to look at the sudden outburst. "Have you ever once considered other people? Honestly, all you rich people make me sick! You only care for yourself! What about the people who actually _need_ something, like food? There are people dying every day. You should think yourself lucky you don't have to worry about how you're going to pay taxes. In Amestris, there have been countless wars. I've seen people die! I've seen people with missing arms and legs! Why can't you just be happy for what you have?!"

"Well, Edward, darling, I'm sure it's much different for you, coming from such a background, one like Haruhi's. After all, you are a scholarship student, aren't you?" She didn't wait for him to respond, so again he stopped her sentances.

"I have enough money to afford this school." It came as a bit of a shock to the club, who had thought he was as poor as Haruhi. "I got in on scholarship because I'm _smart enough_. And, I actually _worked_ for what I have, every penny. I've given up more than you could fathom for it!" He stood and stormed out of the club.

"Brother!" Al sighed, about to get up and apologize to the girl he'd upset.

"Don't bother," Kimiko told him. "That's Tamiko Kodokuna. No one really likes her." It just made Al feel sorrier for her.

"It's true," Kyoya said. Had he always been hovering? "She's so annoying, no host will let her request him for more than ten minutes. I'm surprised Ed could manage the twenty, though he did tell her he didn't want to sit with her in a much less tactful way than the rest of the club had managed."

"I wonder what she said," Yumi wondered.

"She was talking about her little brother and what a bother he was," Haruhi said. "She mentioned being glad he was gone for the rest of the year."

"I see," Al said, suddenly not wanting to apologize for his brother at all. Several pairs of eyes caught him off-guard. He hadn't meant to attract suspicion. "My brother feels very responsible for a misfortune that befell us about six, five years ago. Ever since our mother died, we were all each other had. We still haven't spent more than a few months apart." A crowd had gathered around Al. They swooned under his comments.

"I really should go and make sure he's okay." Al stood and went to find him, arousing a herd of comments along the lines of "you'd never guess he was the younger brother," "he's so responsible," and "I wish I had a brother like that!"

If Ed had been there, he would have complained about his brother, who had suddenly become far more popular than Ed.

* * *

When Al finally found Ed, he was in the bathroom, punching the wall. There was a deep hole that had started breaking through the rebar. "Ed," Al scolded, "you shouldn't have done that."

"I'm sure this fancy rich school can afford it," he said, throwing another punch. If it had been his left hand, it would have been bleeding.

"I meant about that girl."

Ed pulled out one of the steel sticks. He remembered when a very similar piece had been stuck through his left arm and his right arm had been destroyed. He remember watching Al give up his soul and get his arm back. He remembered hunching over the empty armor, praying his voice would meet him.

"She said she wished her little brother was dead, that he was never born." Ed blinked back hot tears. How dare she even think family could be so worthless? Al had been the only thing Ed had had for so many years. To watch Al die for him had been the most heartbreaking thing he'd ever felt. To think he might have never been born was too much for him to handle.

Feeling a similar sense of loss, Al ran over and hugged his brother.

"Al," Ed whispered.

"What?"

"I can't breathe," he croaked.


	5. Revelation

**MWAHAHAHAHAHA!** I've finally decided this is as good as this particular action scene gets (after about a dozen re-writes). I promise there will be another with pure action hi-ya kicks and punches... and... stuff... yeah.

As always, I own nothing, unless I am the creator of FMA and the creator of OHSHC practicing our fantastic crossover skills before we release an official manga to the public! But I am not, so I still own nothing.

Weeeeell, read on and review!

* * *

Ed and Al sat in different locations, desperately wishing they'd found a different room to stand in front of on their first day. Kyoya opened the doors and a flood of ladies pushed their way into the room. "Welcome ladies, to the Host Club."

They were all dressed in some crazy cosplay Tamaki had thought up. It wasn't revealing, thank heavens, but it was tight and flashy. Ed was able to wear his standard leather pants, though his shirt had been (forcefully) replaced with a sequin-covered blouse. It reminded him of a pop star pirate. Al was dressed in a similar outfit, though it was his pants that had been assaulted by sequins. His top had been laced with electric lights. Either way, the two didn't like it.

It had been two weeks since they'd come to Japan and they'd gotten nowhere with their investigation. Between school, homework and the stupid Host club, they barely had a minute to look for the killer, let alone actually find him. There hadn't been any murders, thankfully, but Ed wasn't going to let that make a difference in catching the Sun-Bending Alchemist.

Al sat on a couch, a few girls around him, asking questions about his home life and his brother. He tried to reply as best he could without giving anything away. His brother sat brooding at a table. Girls kept scooting closer, trying to lace their fingers with his. A few had set their hands on his thighs, making him move to another chair.

"So, Edward, what's your family like?" a girl asked.

"Um, well, Al's really the only one I have left of my biological family is my brother. My father left us and my mother died from the stress. We had to support ourselves for a long time, and we're all we really have." He tried to cover the discomfort the girls were creating.

A similar question had just been asked of Al, who responded quite differently. "My mother and my father are both dead, but we've had so many great friends who've become our family, as much as Ed would deny it." Both sets of ladies sighed longingly at the answers. It seemed no matter what Ed or Al told them, they were met only with swooning females.

The clock chimed and the Hosts switched appointments. One of the girls tripped, knocking a stone basin over. Ed caught it and hoisted it back up with his right arm. The girls immediately attached themselves to him, begging to feel his muscles, a bad idea in his skintight shirt, and see him topless. Ed fought his way out of the throng, feeling hands groping for his metallic arm. He was already having a hard enough time keeping it mobile as it was. Winry was going to kill him.

Finally, the girls gave up, albeit reluctantly. Sitting down across from him, they began the questions again. "Why do you wear gloves?" one asked.

"I just like them. My, uh, foster father wears gloves, too. Maybe it's a trait I picked up from him," he said, lying through his teeth.

Another questioned his favorite school subject. "I like science…" Ed told one of them, his answer trailing off. Something strange was going on. There seemed to be the faintest distortion in the surrounding air. It was like a bubble. He stood up, toppling the table. "Al, he's here!" It was Chowdhury. He knew it.

"Everyone out!" Al shouted, pushing his group to the door. The Host Club stood there like fumbling idiots, but Mori and Honey caught on quickly and got the girls out. There must have been some panic they had sensed in the foreigners' eyes. One girl, however, didn't move. For some reason, she stood exactly where she was standing when they had started the evacuation.

"You two are quick," a masculine voice said in Amestrian. The disembodied voice came from the girl. The looked over to her and let out a small cry as blood started seeping from her throat. "I'll leave you this present. I hope we'll meet again, _Dogs_." He dropped her and the bubble ran. The faster he moved, the more visible he was.

Al raced forward to catch her. "Go brother, I'll take care of her." He didn't need to finish his sentence. Before he'd even gotten the first word out, Ed was already running after him.

Down the flight of stairs, through the second door on the left, another corridor, into the rose garden; Ed knew about where he'd stopped. Something came whistling through the air pointed straight towards him. He dodged it due to the sound, but he felt resistance tug on the ends of his hair. One second slower and he'd been cursing about more than just the tips of his hair. Was that bastard trying to kill him?

* * *

Al clapped his hands and pressed them to the ground. Five metal kunai lay in a small crater of the stone floor. He picked them up and planted them in the ground around the wounded girl's neck. "We're not supposed to show you this, or let you know what it is, but if I don't heal her, she'll die." Al said, pressing his hands into the ground. Using the Dragon's Pulse, he'd stopped the bleeding. It wasn't easy and he'd used every ounce of possible concentration, but he'd done it.

Kyoya didn't miss a beat and whipped out his phone to call 119. After the call, he put down his phone and demanded answers.

After sighing heavily, Al broke down and told them everything. "In my country there's a form of science called Alchemy. My brother and I practice this." They looked at him strangely. Most of them thought alchemy was magic. "It has one main law; humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost."

"So what you just did to save her, that was alchemy?" Tamaki questioned shakily. He didn't like this. There was something he could play with. "Mommy!" Kyoya sighed.

"No, no. This is _Alkehestry_," Al corrected. "It's a medically specialized version of alchemy from the country of Xing. My friend May taught it to me." He blushed slightly.

"Xingese doctors are some of the most advanced around the globe. I guess that would explain why," Kyoya mentioned.

"If you weren't–" Hikaru started, "let us know," Kaoru continued, followed by them both finishing with a "why did you?"

"We made a promise a while back, brother and I. We promised that we wouldn't let another person die if we could stop it from happening." Remembering something important, Al stood up. "Brother!"

* * *

One second slower and he'd been cursing about more than just the tips of his hair. Ed dodged another attack. It sailed right by his heart and pushed itself between his automail joints. That bastard _was_ trying to kill him! Granted, he was a murderer, but no one messed with Edward Elric and got away with it. At least, that's what he told himself.

He clapped his hands and transmuted his handsword. He ran full-speed at the direction of the bubble, but right as he got to the location, his joint stopped working. Groaning, he pushed the entire machine down to his side and started thrashing around with his leg, hoping to find Chowdhury, but he was already gone.

He growled. That damn alchemist, him _and_ his invisibility circles. Clapping awkwardly, as his shoulder was still not working, he returned his arm to normal. Winry would have given him a concussion with that stupid wrench of hers if she'd seen him transmute her "brand new baby." He'd rather her have an _actual_ child, but "Momma Winry" would happen about the same time Riza would wear a miniskirt.

"Brother!" He heard Al shout from an open window, slipping in to Amestrian, "the police!" Ed heard the whir of the sirens. Ed slipped through the rosebushes. He caught his shirt on the thorns. "Damn!" He cussed as a thick strip of the sequined fabric tore off. The twins had said their mother had designed it. _Mustang's going to have my _head_ if he has to replace this shirt. It's worth more than what's in my research account._

* * *

He slipped back inside. He had a hard time finding the right room, but he eventually made it into music room. "Damn it, Al," he sighed. "He got away. Did you-ooh." The cops looked over at him. _Shit_, Ed thought, silently thanking the God he didn't believe in that he'd been speaking Amestrian instead of Japanese. He knew he'd be in serious trouble if he had.

"We, uh, we no speak, uh, _Anata wa dono yō ni iu nodesu ka_?" How do you say that? The cop wondered.

"I didn't think anyone here knew any Amestrian," Ed told them in Japanese.

"Amestrian! That's the word!" The cops shouted. "Hey, what did you say to him?"

"The chicks in this school are crazy. I practically got mugged going to the bathroom." He motioned to his shirt, ignoring the question. Thankfully, the tare had been on his _left_ side. He looked around. "What's going on, Al?" He was completely oblivious to what was going on. When he saw the blood on the floor, a sick expression came over his face. Although he'd seemed a bunch of blood, _far_ more than his fair share, he'd thought of that day he'd walked in on Mustang & Hawkeye's make-out session. Just the thought brought back the need to puke.

"I don't think anyone else here knows anything, Commander," one of the officers said after seeing his face. "They're all spoiled rich boys."

"Well, thanks for coming in and helping us out," he smiled. "I'm sure I'll be filled in on the story later," he muttered in Amestrian, a glance aimed at Al.

"Hey, what did you do to your stomach?" An officer asked on the way out, glancing down out at the deep scar on Ed's abdomen. Ed paled. That's where the pole had gone through him up north.

"Motorcycle accident."

"Right well, have a good day," the cop said, heading out. Right before he left, he noticed a bit of blood seeping from his shoulder. He didn't mention it.

As soon as the cops were gone, the entire Host club turned to Ed who slumped down on the chair, looking rather disappointed in himself. Al and Haruhi guessed the main reason was because he'd lost the target, though Tamaki was sure it was because all of the lovely young ladies couldn't see who they'd been saved from. Both of them were proven to be wrong when Ed finally tilted his head up and glumly reported, "I can't move my arm, Al. Winry's going to have my head." Al looked at Ed's jacket as blood bloomed out from his stump. Ed reached up the sleeve and pulled out the knife that had been imbedded in the steel. About half the wires in the arm clung to a barb on the end. Nope. Winry wouldn't just have his head. Winry would have his entire body and shove it through a meat grinder.

"I wish you two wouldn't be so inconsiderate as to think we don't exist," Kyoya sighed in Japanese. That's _right_; the Host club didn't speak Amestrian.

"I have to make a phone call," Ed said reluctantly. "Can I borrow one of your phones?" Haruhi held out hers kindly, but Ed wouldn't take it, sure that a call to Amestris would be more than she could pay for, so he settled for one of the Hitachiin's.

"Hello? Is this Studio Garfield?" Ed asked in Amestrian. "Hi, Garfield. It's Ed. Is Winry there? I need to talk to her." He paused, dreading the next few moments. "Winry? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm on an assignment out of Amestris and I really think you'd love this place. There's a ton of technology here. There are computers that'll measure screw sizes for you." He was trying to get her there without making her think he had broken her _baby_. "Anyway, I was just thinking you might want to come and see it. You will? Great, the sooner the better. And you should probably bring your automail equipment, in case you want to sell it for better gear." That's what tipped her.

"DID YOU BREAK MY AUTOMAIL AGAIN, YOU DUNDERHEAD?! I'M GETTING A TAXI RIGHT NOW SO I CAN GET THERE AND RING YOUR NECK, FULLMETAL!" Ed hung up on her before she could shout out anymore death threats. Even if the club didn't speak Amestrian, they knew Ed had pissed _someone_ off.

"She took that better than I thought," Al commented. Ed nodded.

"Was that your girlfriend?" Honey asked, wobbling back and forth. The sudden answer of "NO!" made it perfectly clear to everyone that she very much was, or at least he wanted her to be.

"Perfect. We'll have a party to welcome her!" Tamaki said, leaping around the room. Ed sighed. If this was a _normal_ mission, he'd still be talking about an attacking murderer, not planning a welcome party for his mechanic.

By the end of the day, Ed had slipped in a few comments to Al about the objective and Tamaki had spent twice as much what was in Ed's research grants on this party. Gourmet food, a 40 piece orchestra, a grand ballroom. It wasn't really Winry's scene, but Ed couldn't exactly tell Tamaki that. He'd been here only two weeks, but he knew very well he'd start growing mushrooms.


	6. Metal and Roses

What's this? Updating before noon? Unheard of! No way I could get up that early! I actually can't. But _not_ _going to sleep_ until _after_ 8:30? Oh, yeah. That's totally heard of.

It's finished! I've got it all written out. Now it's just deciding if I want to change stuff. Don't worry. It does not end here. I've got another chapter and an epilogue (maybe something about Christmas if I get it together, no promises).

If I could own anything, it would be FMA or OHSHC. Possibly Travis Willingham's voice whilst performing Roy Mustang. [I'm such a fangril (◦_◦')] **BUT**, I, sadly, do not.

Read if you want, Review if you like, but, above all, ENJOY!

* * *

The weeks and days leading up to Winry's arrival became more and more stressful to Ed. He was positive Winry was going to fillet him with his own handsword as soon as she got in. He tried to fix the a bit himself, though nothing good came of it. He eventually resigned himself that he'd have to buy her something to make up for it. Maybe he'd get her a new wrench or a cell phone. She'd love taking that apart.

He sat in Music Room 3, ignoring his _appointments_ and carefully contemplating what he'd endure when the doors burst open. Every head turned to the new arrival. A few whispers fluttered quickly around the room. Why was she at the Host Club? Was she a commoner? A _lady friend_? According to most of the wealthy children, she could be. She was dressed in a tan jumpsuit, tied at her waist and a black tank top with a zipper down the bust Her hair was pulled into a ponytail except two long pieces she wore as bangs, all covered by a green bandana. She did _not_ look pleased.

Tamaki elbowed Haruhi, trying to get her to go and talk to the girl. After all, a girlfriend would be good for her. It would bring out her feminine side. Haruhi had no intention of getting close to the demon who had clearly invaded that body.

"EDWARD ELRIC!" The demon shouted, flying at Ed. Before anyone could react, she brandished some metallic weapon which she brought down firmly on his head. "HOW DARE YOU BREAK MY AUTOMAIL!" For not having known any before, she spoke (or rather shouted) perfect Japanese.

Ed clenched his bleeding head as she wiped her wrench clean. "CRAZY GEARHEAD!" He switched to Amestrian, not wanting to alert the Japanese club to their dire circumstances. "IT'S NOT MY FAULT! IT'S THAT STUPID CONVICTS!" She glowered at him. Forget sending his body through the meat grinder, she was going to tear him apart with her bare hands.

Ed was about two seconds from running when Tamaki intervened. "Hello," he said in his princely fashion. "You must be the lovely Winry Rockbell Edward has told us so much about." He bowed and kissed her hand, finishing with a flourish.

"He did, did he? And you believed him?" She glared his way.

"Only the good parts," Tamaki smiled. Unfortunately for Ed, not even the Prince couldn't quench her anger. She pulled out her wrench one more time and banged Ed on the head with it, this time being met with serious opposition.

"Stop hurting Edward**-**Sempi," one begged, cradling his head in her arms to the point of almost snapping his neck.

"What did you start, Ed?" She asked, WTFing. Sighing at the cluster of girls around him, she gave up trying to figure out what was going on. "Let's just fix your arm, okay?" Ed sighed and stood.

"Can't this wait until home?" he whined. Judging from her expression, it was a definite _no._ "Mustang didn't want me showing off my automail. Apparently, Japan have machines that can fly across the globe, but not decent prosthetics."

"There's a room in the back, if you need _privacy_," Honey said, clearly suggesting things that someone so small should not be aware of. Ed started spouting out the periodic table, moving quickly from Amestrian to Japanese, recalling every fact you could find on a regular table.

Winry sighed. She'd seen him like this once before, though she was completely unaware of the reason. Ruefully, she grabbed the tie of his uniform and pulled him to the private room, clearly devoid any feelings Honey**-**Sempi had suggested. She drew the curtains as Ed undressed. Setting her tool kit out, he extended the automail stiffly.

"Well, this is a development," Kyoya stated, pushing his glasses further up his nose. Somehow, the entirety of the club had managed to slip into the room unnoticed.

"How did you guys get in here?!" Ed shouted, silently vowing to _never_ join any type of club ever again. First, it had been the military, which had turned out to be utterly evil. Now, it was the Host club. The same result wasn't far**-**fetched in Ed's mind.

"Well, this is no good," Winry frowned, overshadowing his demand of a question, despite her being quieter. "Ed, you completely smashed up the casing and, _ugh!_, there's a chunk of wiring torn out." She sighed. "You're as good as useless in this state."

"So, you can fix it, right?" Ed asked, nonchalantly sipping his coffee. She turned and glowered at him. "I can fix the casing with alchemy." Another glower aside, she began working on the arm.

A knock at the door made the Host club return to their guests, albeit reluctantly. Al took over the rest of Ed's appointments, which he was glad for. It was annoying enough to try and deal with those crazies; let alone being forced to take care of them whilst missing an arm.

When the day was over and the girls were gone, the rest of the Host club reentered and pressed Ed for questions, "what happened?" being the most prominent.

"I did something no alchemist is meant to do. I trespassed into God's territory and paid the price," he said. The entirety of the room shivered. Though the lightest the words could have been were solemn, the foreigner was so _dark_. For a moment, even Tamaki accepted the Hell Edward had seen. Granted, it _was_ Tamaki, and was just one moment.

"Oh, Miss Winry," he said, sashaying over to the _gearhead_ who was currently welding a new plate for the automail. Like she would ever let Ed use alchemy on it. He'd probably turn his kneecap plate into a skull. "We've decided to hold a ball in your honor. It would be our pleasure if you would grace us with your presence." He set a card in front of her.

Hesitantly, she turned off the blowtorch and set it down, flipping up her mask. She carefully read the invitation. "A ball?" she asked, unsure of the outcome. "Well, I'd love to," Tamaki's face lit up, "but I don't really have a dress or anything."

"Hikaru, Kaoru, take her." The Hitachiin twins leapt up, putting an arm around either of Winry's as they led, or rather dragged, her out. Shouts of protest could be heard down the hall as she whined about her incomplete automail. Ed agreed. He was rather _disarmed_ without the automail fixed.

* * *

Ed hurried out of the school, rushing home. He sat on the couch, doing nothing but listening. He had no alchemy and very little fighting skills without his arm. It was quite annoying, having to worry about someone attacking him like this. When a knock resounded through the door, he nearly jumped out of his skin.

He pulled open the door slowly, careful to hide his right arm. It was Haruhi. "Oh, come in." He smiled uneasily and opened the door.

"I hate to come and ask this, but I feel it needs to be asked. _What happened?_" Ed almost told her off. It wasn't any place of _hers_ to know why he'd lost his arm and leg. It wasn't – but then he saw Haruhi's face; one of pure sincerity. It wasn't pity. It was _concern_.

He sighed, glad Al was still with Winry. "It's a long story," he explained. She still looked intent on learning his past. So, he told her. He told her everything. He told her about his father leaving and his mother dying. He told her about Teacher and their failed transmutation. He told her how he'd joined the military, how he'd traveled around his country and how he'd learned about the homunculi. He explained their plot and what Father attempted. He kept the story short and to the point, finally finishing up the grand adventure with the loss of his alchemy.

Ed had to admit, he hadn't felt this light since Al had gotten his body back.

"How do you still have alchemy, then?" She was an observant cross**-**dresser. "And why is one of your arms automail?" _Very_ observant.

"That would be where things get _complicated_." Her eyebrows rose. How could anything be more complicated than his story? "Well, complicated from an alchemy standpoint. I guess it's rather easy to tell. After Mustang became Führer, unrest settled in. Not in Amestris, but its boarding countries. They saw him as weak, someone who could be unseated and taken over."

"That doesn't seem much like him from what you told me," Haruhi mentioned. Ed laughed in agreement.

"No, he certainly isn't. But when three countries decide to war on a country all at once, even we needed help. He put out a call to all alchemists; to come and protect Amestris. Even alkehestrists from Xing came to defend Amestris.

"Three or four alchemists found me, instructing alchemists in combat. They explained they had little talent for it and wanted their alchemy to mean something. They offered _me_ their gates. I didn't want to do it, but Führer _Bastard_ was rather serious about it. He told me he was sending me to the front lines, alchemy or not.

"They were very generous. They all sacrificed their substandard gates to give me one that was of the caliber of my old one. But I still didn't have the abilities I had before, the clapping. I knew I needed it, to defend my friends and family. So I opened the gate again and used my arm as payment."

Haruhi sat there in shock, all of Ed's words finally setting in. She had always considered herself brave; she was always able to take care of herself. But she wasn't. She'd only had to take care of herself. He had taken care of himself _and_ his brother. He'd tried to bring his mother back from the grave. He'd gone through automail surgery and rehabilitation _twice_. He fought in wars; he'd beaten the unbeatable; he'd killed the unkillable. And he was still here, sitting calmly (despite only having one arm) instead of breaking down and crying every night. She would have had nightmares that would tear though her – she would never sleep.

Suddenly, Ed looked up, very alert. He sprung up, grabbed a knife from the kitchen with his left hand and stalked to the door. The handle twisted and he turned to attack. "Winry!" he shouted, very glad he had looked before stabbing.

"Is this how you _always_ greet your guests, Ed?" she asked, scolding him silently. The next instant it was gone. "Hello, Haruhi. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I'm just leaving, actually," she smiled halfheartedly. She bowed to Winry and the Brothers. "Good day." With that, she left.

Ed sat back down and picked up a book he'd been too antsy to read earlier. He glanced to Winry. She seemed more… _hyper_ than normal. Yes, hyper was a good way to describe her actions. She seemed jittery while making dinner and a giant smile was plastered across her face during their quiet meal (as quiet as a meal can get with the bottomless pit and the un**-**armored boy wonder).

Even while she worked on the automail, something wasn't right. She kept messing up on the welding jobs, burning wires and breaking sparkplugs. Ed & Al were asked to undo half of what she did. He was getting antsy. Why couldn't she do it properly? Why wasn't she as careful as normal? Why was she engraving roses on the casing? This wasn't going well.


	7. The End All

Well, Christmas didn't fit. So. Here it is; the wrapping up of all things everything. Love! Romance! Epic Battles! Secrets, Revealed! Just... just read. Yeah. I own nothing. Unfortunately, the rights to FMA and OHSHC were just too expensive for my parents to get me. If you like my stories however, I'm sure endless letters to a certain Cow can force her hand into writing more, right? R&R.

* * *

He woke up the next morning filled with dread. The day of the dance had come. Ed had been whisked off several times, forced to try on about a hundred tuxes, forced to learn how to dance. When he showed up at the host club, now fitted with what Winry had dubbed "formal automail," he was not pleased.

He'd been bombarded with a dozen preferences by the twins earlier that day; did he want a winged collar or a crosswick collar; did he want a notched lapel or a peaked lapel? Honestly, if Ed had the choice, he would have gone with his regular outfit. He rarely wore it anyway; he had to wear that itchy blue thing in school.

He'd chosen a black, silk tux. The white shirt had a winged collar; the black vest was double breasted. The matching trousers he wore were firmly pleated; his cufflinks were pure silver. His bowtie was diamonded. Of course, he hadn't been satisfied with the look of it all. It was too _ballroom_. Granted, he was going to a ball, but still. He'd added a silver trim to the black cloth, changed the buttons to silver clasps and the black tailcoat, he'd turned _red_. He hadn't forgotten the back, either, leaving some of it black in what most girls would call "the snake's cross."

Al wore a tux a bit less formal than Ed's, style wise (certainly not _class_ wise). He'd chosen a Nahru jacket and a matching Mandarin collared shirt. He'd gone for the standard dress shirt cuffs, instead of the French cuffs on Ed's shirt, securing them with matching silver cufflinks. When he saw Ed's modifications, he sighed, though he did like the silver trim. He may or may not have created a similar look.

They met in Music Room #3 before they greeted their guests in the ballroom of Ouran. The Host Club scrupulized Ed's choices.

"You know we'll need the close back to the way they were, right?" one of the twins asked as they hurried down the hallway. Ed nodded.

Entering the ballroom was a grand entrance. "May I present to you the Host Club?" an announcer projected. As their names were read, they bowed and began their descent down the staircase. "**-**Mitsukuni Haninozuka and Edward and Alphonse Elric of Amestris."

The _regular_ Hosts struck poses as they walked down the stairs. Ed was barely managing not to trudge. They greeted their guests with smiles matching their appearance and got to work. Hikaru and Kaoru made with their "brotherly love" act. Tamaki was charming every girl in the room, baring Haruhi, and Ed was sulking in the corner. He didn't like dances.

"May I present to you Miss Winry Rockbell of Amestris?" the announcer called again. Ed glanced up at the stairs, annoyed. Within an instant, he had to look back up. His jaw dropped. She was beautiful. She was… "Wow," he'd whispered.

She wore a midnight dress that glittered like Major Armstrong. Her back was entirely lace, revealing her bare back through the floral pattern. Her hair was up in a bun, tied back with a silver ribbon. Ed could have sworn his heart stopped for a whole minute. It wasn't that she wasn't normally pretty, but tonight, she was _beautiful_.

She walked down the stairs, far more graceful than she had been the previous night with his automail. Her hand, gloved in silver, traced the banister and she seemed to glide. She was just, _wow._

Without really thinking about it, Ed started reciting elements. "Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron," he sputtered. She walked straight over to him. Smiling, she held out her hand, silently asking if he wanted to dance. Swallowing back a gulp, he agreed. It was a good think he'd been forced to learn how to dance. He'd never been able to fumble through the waltz if he hadn't.

The rest of the ball was fairly uneventful. The girls fought to dance with Ed. Al was never standing still. He'd picked up the dances fairly quickly and danced with as many girls as he could. That player. Somehow, Ed and Winry had ended up on the balcony, just outside the ballroom. It was quiet and they were alone.

"Winry," he said, finally breaking the silence. "I know I haven't always been the best friend, but I**-**"

"I know, Ed," she said, looking over at him, a smile grazing her face. How had she been so understand through everything he and Al had been through? He'd never once said "thank you," at least not for that, at least not with actual meaning.

"I'm sorry for everything we put you through," he tried again. Again, her calming words of "I know" pushed every thought out of his head. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to say what he needed to. "Thank you, Winry." She looked genuinely shocked. She hadn't heard him say anything so true. "I–I understand if you like someone else. I'll understand if you like Tamaki or one of those twins, but–" His voice dropped to a low whisper, "I love you."

"Ed, you idiot." She couldn't stop herself; the next thing she knew she was kissing him. It was warm and soft and a bit wet and it was the best feeling she had ever felt. It was a disappointment when Ed jerked away, turning to the loud noise that had just come from inside: a scream.

Al was already there, his hands up. He was desperately searching for the location of the girls' attacker. His eyes were keen, but Ed had been the only one to see the bubble the other day. The same was true tonight.

A knife went flying towards him. He was prepared for that trick this time. He dropped to his knees, the silk fabric giving him better traction as his momentum propelled him across the floor. He clapped his hands and pressed them to his side, pushing himself further along and creating a wall to stop the dagger from hitting anyone else.

"What are you doing?" he shouted at Al. Al was looking thoughtfully at the table of goodies. "Help me out!"

"Undo the chemical reaction on the food, separate out the ingredients," Al mumbled. Ed just managed a kick flip to dodge another knife. This one was different, though. He heard it clink to his arm. It was magnetic. He tried to pull it off, to no avail. What caught him off**-**guard, however, was the knife that had found itself pulled toward the automail with someone still attached the handle.

He couldn't see him. The knife swiped itself across him. His instincts were barely keeping him from loss of limb or a punctured organ. His clothes were in tatters, blood was already seeping into the white shirt.

"Brother, flour!" Al shouted, tossing a large bowl of white powder towards him. It spilled everywhere, ruining several bystanders' dresses and making others cough uncontrollably. When the smoky powder cleared, the man in front of him was clear.

Panicked, he reached forward and grabbed the magnetized knife off of Ed's arm, accidentally pulling the remnants of his right sleeve with it. The entire room gasped so loudly, you would have thought an airplane had taken off.

Ed clapped. "You ruined my girlfriend's engraving," he noted. It was true; the roses of the _formal_ automail had been scratched to a point they were almost unrecognizable. He drew out his handsword and rushed forward.

Multiple things ran through Ed's brain, between the loud rantings of the crowd. _I can't kill him in front of all these people_. "Brother has a girlfriend?" _I won't let him kill again._ "Don't transmute my automail!" _He won't get away_. "Edward**-**Sempi!"

The Sun Bending Alchemist was decent in a fight. He threw kicks and jabs at Edward, who counter just as quickly. He knocked Ed over. Quickly, he threw his hands behind him, falling harder on his left, shifted his weight to his right hand, slid onto his hip and used the circular momentum to pull himself up, slicing at him with his right hand.

Chowdhury fell back, blood penetrating the white powder. "Did you think you would be able to beat me?" he chided, a little laugh escaping his lips. Suddenly, he stood up straighter, his chin raised and his chest out. "I'm Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist." A hint of recognition caught a breath in Sun Bending's throat. "I've face Homunculus. I killed Father. You're no match." He clapped again, deliberately putting his hands to the ground. Blue lightning sparked across the floor. The marble tiles twisted and warped; forming a tight prison.

Ed turned around, still bitter. What he saw snapped him right out of his little funk. There were about 100 girls all looking at him and Al, who was currently healing a few critical wounds, with shock. _Great_, he thought. It would be a fun time explaining this away.

* * *

Ed sat in a chair. He was extremely grateful to Kyoya, who offered the girls an explanation that didn't give anything else away. Now, the host club had finally ended the night. Chowdhury was knocked out in chains only a foot from the Ed on one side and Al on the other.

"The girls are very excited, to say the least," Kyoya informed them. "I had to offer them an Amestrian cosplay day to get them to leave." He sighed and sat a deserted table. "You wouldn't happen to know where we can find Amestrian military outfits, would you?"

Ed laughed. "We've fulfilled our mission, or at least the main part. I know Führer Bastard wants to establish better trades with Japan. He's been dying to put up, what are they called, cell phone towers?" Tamaki nodded.

"I'll check my portfolio. I'm sure I can convince a few of the board members to trade technology for information about automail." Kyoya pulled out his ledger and wrote himself a note.

"Imported fur is always popular," one of the Hitachiins said, the other following with "our mother's designing the winter fashion line in a few months." The offer to feature Amestrian fur was ended by the two of them; "send us a sample."

"We're leaving tonight," Ed said, swallowing. He stood, cringing at a sharp sting in his back. Sticking his hand to it, he recognized he'd forgotten his back brace at home. The brown belt didn't fit under the silk tuxedo, which the Hitachiins had accepted as never coming back.

"Goodbye," Al smiled, picking up the unconscious alchemist. "We'll see you again, I hope."


	8. Epilogue

"I thought it was finished!" It is. This is an epilogue. I might do a sequel, if I get enough interest and can actually decide which plot bunny to actually write out for a HPX. Ah, well.

* * *

A month later, the brothers did see them.

"Hey, chief!" Ed looked over to Havoc, up and walking again. In his hand, he held a letter. "It's from Japan!" Ed tore the manila enveloped open in eager haste. The only thing there was a picture.

There stood the six boys and one girl, dressed in Amestrian clothes. Honey was dressed in a boys' uniform, too reminiscent of Selim's. Mori was dressed in a standard military uniform, though Ed had expected nothing less.

The Hitachiins were clearly Briggs soldiers. Ed couldn't think of a better way place for them, despite their antics. They were identical to the "snow ninjas." Kyoya looked like a typical alchemist; gloved hands painted with transmutation circles.

Haruhi was an automail mechanic, clearly seen by the lugging around of the huge wrench. Huh. _That_ was where Winry had left it. Tamaki dressed up like Ed, sending eerie chills down the boys back. They really did look alike.

He flipped the picture around.

_Hi, Ed._ It was Haruhi's writing. _It's been a while hasn't it? We finally had Amestrian Cosplay Day. Kyoya said he wanted to look into alchemy. He's intent he can learn to make lead into gold. Hikaru and Kaoru say they need the fabric sample by the end of the month if you want the fur to be in the winter collection this year. Tamaki's turned you into an idol, constantly bringing up sacrificial body parts to impress his appointments. I'm just glad the craziness has died down. The murders have stopped, too! I hope you'll visit us soon, but Tamaki says we might have to take matters into our own hands and visit you!_

_Haruhi._

_P.S. Mori says the extra fabric on the uniforms is hazardous for fighting. You might want to bring it up to your CO._

Ed chuckled. There was a reason he didn't wear the military uniforms. It wasn't just because he was anti**-**regulations. Of course, the extra fabric on his red coat probably wasn't any better.


	9. Update

Hey, kiddos! I'm sorry! I'm late! I know! But it's out: the Alchemical Type's sequel, The Wedding of Winry Rockbell. You can link to it here: s/9355933/1/The-Wedding-of-Winry-Rockbell

Thanks for following!


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